It was 11:49 pm.
The blue light that *they* tell you not to take to bed with you because it inhibits sleep was eight inches from my face. I clicked the play button on yet another video in my photo app.
Smiling, I watched two-year-old Jared sing a song in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, with his dandelion fluff hair waving. Daniel at one year old falling asleep at the table over his peanut butter sandwich. Jacob tickling Karis as she giggled uncontrollably. Seven-year-old Joseph leaning against the wind while flying a kite with my dad. Lanie toddling around our Christmas tree with eyes full of wonder. Lincoln splashing in the kitchen sink with his toothless smile turned towards the camera.
All I could hear in my head and my heart was, “Where does the time GO?”
Fragments of sound. Moments frozen in time. Chubby-cheeked babies lisping, laughing, and changing before my eyes as I scrolled through the memories stored on my phone. There’s such joy stored up on each page that it’s easy to forget the hard parts of life that I DIDN’T capture on camera. Four weeks of sickness that coincided with Thanksgiving and Christmas so that we missed both family gatherings. Colicky babies that I rocked and rocked and rocked for HOURS every night for months. Tantrums. Kids throwing fits at the park and melting down in the Walmart checkout line. Finding moldy wet clothes in the bottom of the laundry basket. Hospital stays. NICU babies. Funerals. Death.
It’s so hard to believe, but my calendar has made a complete rotation since my husband’s parents went to see Jesus. I still drive by their house and picture Linda at the stove frying chicken. The temperature dips and I imagine Curtis with his easy chair so close to the wood stove the fabric is practically scorching.
And I sigh under my breath, shake my head, and whisper again,
“Where does the time go Jesus?”
This past January, a tornado came through only a few hundred feet from our house. It came roaring up our driveway out of nowhere as the sky turned a strange greenish color, and high winds ripped our trampoline away from where we’d chained it to a tree and sent it soaring across the field. All nine of us crowded into our tiny hallway bathroom just as the power snapped off. I heard one of the kids praying, “Please God, Please God!” over the rumbling from outside.
One minute, two minutes, three, until the wind died down and we came stumbling out of the dark bathroom. Our house was undamaged except for a few missing shingles, but across our driveway in a tangled heap lay dozens of trees, some over one hundred feet tall. The kindness of friends and neighbors had our driveway cleared in a few days, but the impact of the trauma still lingers.
I see it when the wind kicks up a bit or it begins to rain, and the kids all look at me with nervous eyes and ask, “Should we go sit in the hallway Mom?”
See, now we KNOW what could happen. It’s a lot harder to be happy-go-lucky when you know that things don’t always go the way you imagine. Hard and awful things happen.
I will be 100 percent honest with you.
This week, there is such an URGENCY in my heart over how short the time is. I feel almost panic over it, because you see, I KNOW what could happen. People could die. We are here on earth for just a breath, just a sigh.
Psalm 90:9-10, and 12 says this:
9For all our days have passed away in Your wrath;
We finish our years like a sigh.
10 The days of our lives are seventy years;
And if by reason of strength they are eighty years,
Yet their boast is only labor and sorrow;
For it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
12 So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Oh friends, life…
Life is SO. SHORT.
Just an inch on a rope a million miles long.
And the urgency of my heart is to remind us all of the HOPE that is a sure and firm foundation, Jesus Christ, the anchor of our souls. (Hebrews 6:19-20)
Right before Linda passed, I asked the Lord how to pray for her. And he reminded me of a passage in 2 Corinthians 5 verses 1-10.
It says this:
We know that if our earthly house, this tent, were to be destroyed, we have an eternal building of God in the heavens, a house not made with hands. 2 In this one we groan, earnestly desiring to be sheltered with our house which is from heaven. 3 Thus being sheltered, we shall not be found unsheltered. 4 For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we wish to be unclothed, but to be further clothed, so that what is mortal might be swallowed up by life. 5 Now He who has created us for this very thing is God, who also has given to us the guarantee of the Spirit.
6 Therefore we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord. 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Instead, I say that we are confident and willing to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. 9 So whether present or absent, we labor that we may be accepted by Him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive his recompense in the body, according to what he has done, whether it was good or bad.
A week or two ago, I was researching Air B&B’s for our yearly sister meet up and saw one in the area that was simply a large tent. I laughed because, who would choose to stay in a tent in the ever-changing weather of November??? The surprise of these verses is that the writer Paul compares our lives on earth to a tent…a temporary shelter.
Now, Linda and Curtis have rolled up their sleeping bags, unzipped the door to their earthly tent, and stepped right into their permanent home. Their faith in Jesus Christ and His perfect sacrifice on the cross has given them a sure and certain hope.
My deep, deep urgency compels me to say this:
“Are YOU one-hundred percent ready to unzip your tent on earth if your time comes to go? Because Jesus made a way for you to do that. He knew that from the beginning of the world until now, nobody could be perfect, and no law could enable anyone to work hard enough that they could earn their way into the “good graces” of a Holy God. So Jesus came, lived perfectly, and died perfectly so that He could exchange His perfection for our sin. His perfection covers our sin and clothes us in His righteousness, enabling us to live in a joyous relationship with a Holy God.
When we choose His righteousness instead of our own sin-filled lives, this decision enables us to unzip our earthly tents with carefree unconcern.”
The longer I live in my earthly tent, the more confident I am in my permanent home with Jesus, and the more I desire, groan, and long for the time that I can step right into my new mansion.
In the book of John, Jesus speaks to His disciples the night before His death on the cross and shares His heart and the heart of God with His disciples. John 14:1-3 is when Jesus reassures His disciples that He’s going to make a permanent home for them.
“Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God. Believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are MANY dwelling places. If it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, you may be also.”
Friends, I don’t know how else to say it, but if you don’t know what will happen to you when you die, THERE IS A SAVIOR, CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD, who is reaching out His hands to you. He is so full of love and mercy. If you expect condemnation from Him, you WILL NOT FIND IT HERE.
Hebrews 7:23-25 says,
There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.
His constant desire and passion is to intercede with Holy God for us.
I imagine that each time I come to the throne room to pray, Jesus says to the Father, “Do you see My daughter coming so boldly in? See how My righteousness is embedded into her core? Do you see My Holy Spirit living inside of her? She is MINE. Come right on up to the throne Daughter, you BELONG here with Me.”
I’d like to leave you with Romans 1:16-17
For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile. This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.”
Oh friends,
I say again,
The time is short.
If you have questions or want to talk about anything, just message me! I would love to have a conversation with you!
